People I have seen

Jasper Carrott
Lee Evans
Lenni Henry
Mark Hirst
Mike Reed
Paul Trueman
Phil Cool
The Fat Bastard - Alexi Sayle
Victoria Wood

Websites

TV Go Home - Slightly offensive for the feint hearted, TV Times
The Framley Examiner - Spoof news paper
Squirrel fishing - Harvard professors most recent project
Fortean Times - Bizarre news stories from around the world

Back to class – real life tales from 14 weeks at the chalk face

Teacher “Show me your pencil”
Male pupil “drops trousers”

Teacher pretending to be very cross after an amusing but obviously totally unacceptable incident
Pupil “chill miss”

Rather naive teacher told by Asian pupil that the English version of his name is Belend.
Teacher unawaredly calls him this for several weeks until rather odd look from deputy head brings her back to reality with bump.

Year 10 pupil spends whole lesson holding up desk and proclaiming undying love for teacher.

Year 9 spends 90 minutes having loud simulated sex with chair.

Hearing-impaired year 7 in sex ed. lesson, describes the concept of a wet dream at the top of his voice to classmates.
Teacher required to remain strait faced and attempt to correct misconceptions highlighting scientific relevance of this to the ‘growing up and reproduction module’.

The scene: Sex ed. feed back session where pupils shout out all words relevant to sex and teacher writes them on board - designed to condense all sniggers etc. into a few minutes, then get on with the science.
The outcome: Rapid descent into mayhem when teacher realises she cannot spell most of the words suggested, let alone be able to discuss with certainty their scientific meaning.

Why?

Pupil “If black things are black because they absorb all wavelengths of light, why are some black things shiny miss” Teacher “erm, good question Richard”